Jennifer Aniston continues her vacation in Los Cabos, Mexico, and she should probably start posing for the paparazzi because, damn, are they getting some unflattering shots. It’s almost as if the majority of Jennifer’s body is defying age except her stomach. Which obviously gave up and stated “Hey, I wanna look like your grandpa.” NOTE: Jennifer Aniston absolutely making my words a moot point here, and I’m pretty sure that’s the entrance to Narnia.

Via [Thesuperficial]

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Jennifer Aniston bikini pics! (Los Cabos - 9/29) That’s Jennifer Aniston’s ass yesterday during day two of her Mexican vacation. It looks like it’s having a great time. Obviously Jennifer must be sticking to bottled water. [Flynet, Splash News]

Jennifer Aniston bikini photos! (Los Cabos - 9/29)

That’s Jennifer Aniston’s ass yesterday during day two of her Mexican vacation. It looks like it’s having a great time. Obviously Jennifer must be sticking to bottled water.

[Flynet, Splash News]

Via [Celebslam]

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Via [Celebslam]

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Now that Jennifer Aniston’s magical romance with John Mayer has come to an end, she’s supposedly rebounding - with model Matt Felker!

Matt Felker used to date actress Selma Blair, and also appeared in Britney Spears‘ sexy music video for her hit single “Toxic.”

Far from spending her days bumming around her sprawling LA mansion in a daze of self-pity, Jennifer Aniston is reportedly continuing on her soul-searching quest to feverishly screw away the internal strife find her life partner.

Basically, Matt Felker is the younger, edgier iteration of Paul Sculfor …

Alleged new Jennifer Aniston boy toy Matt Felker.

In other news, the Chicago Sun-Times says in a new story (which is possibly written by Jennifer Aniston herself) gave John Mayer three chances to stop messing around, but he couldn’t stop his swinging, tail-chasing ways.

It wasn’t the other way around (him dumping her), as has been reported - Jen got sick of John cheating, even after allowing him a mulligan or two.

Apparently, John boned a cocktail waitress and a promoter’s assistant for his tour. But strike three - with a groupie, reportedly - was just too much.

Via [thehollywoodgossip]

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“It’s not you Jen, it’s me . . . I don’t like you.” Surprise, surprise, Jennifer Aniston got dumped yet again. Aniston and her boyfriend John Mayer had been on a “break” for the past month or so (I haven’t been able to find any pics of the two together for about that long) before they […]

“It’s not you Jen, it’s me . . . I don’t like you.”

Surprise, surprise, Jennifer Aniston got dumped yet again. Aniston and her boyfriend John Mayer had been on a “break” for the past month or so (I haven’t been able to find any pics of the two together for about that long) before they made the split official earlier this week. Ironically, Aniston just finished production on her latest film He’s Just Not That Into You. A source close to John told UK rag the Daily Mirror:

“There’s been a bit of tension for some time. They initially opted for a break, hoping a trial split might make them stronger. Sadly it doesn’t seem to have worked. John took the decision to end things as he felt he just wasn’t ready for the level of commitment that Jennifer deserved. Contrary to reports, Jen didn’t want to have children or marry this year, but she did want to set a timetable for their future together. She also wanted him to assure her he would cut down his tours in the future when they did eventually have kids.”

“Initially, Jennifer was furious when he told her of his decision but now she’s simply sad - not to mention a little heartbroken. They’ve spoken on the phone since the split and are trying to remain on good terms. But unless John has a dramatic change of heart, it’s unlikely they’ll rekindle their romance.” (Source)

On the bright side for Jen, she’s gone through so much ice cream dealing with these public breakups of her’s that if she eats just 40 more pints of Ben & Jerry’s, she gets a flavor made in her honor: Suicidal Cinnamon.

[BauerGriffinOnline]

Via [Celebslam]

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This should not come as a surprise to many, but…. According to multiple reports, John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston have called it quits. The pair have not been seen together for almost three weeks. Mayer recently took a vacation to Mexico - without Aniston - and Jen last week went out on the town with her gal […]

This should not come as a surprise to many, but….

According to multiple reports, John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston have called it quits.

The pair have not been seen together for almost three weeks. Mayer recently took a vacation to Mexico - without Aniston - and Jen last week went out on the town with her gal pals on several nights, something she rarely does.

The Mirror is reporting that Maniston was dumped by Mayer.

“The pair initially decided to spend some time apart… before making the break official earlier this week,” reports the paper.

So much for those reports that John & Jen were getting married and / or having a baby!

“There’s been a bit of tension for some time,” states a source close to Mayer. “They initially opted for a break, hoping a trial split might make them stronger. Sadly it doesn’t seem to have worked. John took the decision to end things as he felt he just wasn’t ready for the level of commitment that Jennifer deserved. Initially, Jennifer was furious when he told her of his decision but now she’s simply sad - not to mention a little heartbroken. They’ve spoken on the phone since the split and are trying to remain on good terms. But unless John has a dramatic change of heart, it’s unlikely they’ll rekindle their romance.”

But, don’t feel too bad for Aniston, according to this report in the NY Daily News, Jen’s already moved on and is already dating someone else!

[Image via WENN.]

Via [Perezhilton.com]

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Jennifer Aniston’s biological clock kicked into overdrive this week after seeing Brad Pitt in People magazine with his gaggle of kids. Apparently, she’s ready to let her uterus be a vessel for John Mayer’s offspring and prove she’s not a barren witch that lives in a gingerbread home. It’s made of graham crackers. Star reports.

The 39-year-old actress feels that after all she has been through watching Brad and Angie’s family grow, she’d love Brad to see photos of her holding her own baby and show him she’s not the self-centered girl he’d made her out to be.
“It’s my turn now,” she told a friend. And Jen believes the rocker is perfect daddy material.
“Jen feels so strongly that John is ‘the one,’ ” says a source. “She knows he has the ability to handle being a father.”

Nothing like having a child out of spite. Because that’ll really teach Angelina Jolie a lesson and not fuck the kid up for life. Then again, Jennifer Aniston with prego boobs? Hmm…. The Superficial wishes John and Jennifer the ideal of luck in their endeavor and would like to point out you can’t get pregnant reading this site (yet), so get crackin’. And, John, no showboating; this is serious business, so it’d probably be ideal if you left your guitar in its case. Harmonica too.

Via [Thesuperficial]

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Suddenly, Jennifer Aniston’s nipple sonar went off: Somebody was popping nips and their name wasn’t Jennifer Aniston. “I’ll see about this,” Jennifer stated. She quickly turned to her assistant. “Ice me.” “But, miss-” “I SAID, ‘ICE ME!’” Several cold seconds later, Jennifer Aniston’s nipples were primed like rockets in a missile silo. She motioned for her driver to cease near a pack of paparazzi. Jessica Alba, Rihanna: a day of reckoning is upon thee. Jennifer Aniston exited the automobile and immediately began pointing at objects with almost laser-guided precision. Inside her head a maniacal, yet genius, monologue ensued: “Is that a rock? Now it’s a rock being pointed at by my nipples. What are you drinking? A latte? Now it’s a latte being pointed at by my nipples. Say, is that a bird?” And then it happened: Jennifer Aniston’s assistant, clearly gone suicidal, attempted to block the nipples with her purse. Her body would later be found in a sand dune on a Mexican beach. The police deduced the culprit’s identity by the two punctures wound in the back, but who would dare prosecute? Anyone worth their badge knew you didn’t go after the nipples. Not in this town. Not in any town…

Via [Thesuperficial]

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Jessica Simpson’s breasts have been recognized as the ideal in Hollywood by InTouch Weekly. Surprisingly, I wasn’t consulted but I’m going to let the ruling stand because, well, boobs. Here’s their Top 10 list for your perusal. WARNING: It’s full of WTF?:

1. Jessica Simpson
2. Tyra Banks
3. Scarlett Johansson
4. Carmen Electra
5. Lindsay Lohan
6. Katherine Heigl
7. Audrina Patridge
8. Jennifer Aniston
9. Megan Fox
10. Beyoncé Knowles

I’ll let you guys debate the inclusion of some of the ladies on this list. I mean, Jennifer Aniston? We’re talking about breasts here not permanent nipple hardage for Chrissakes. This is what happens, InTouch, when you leave me out of the vetting process. I bet you didn’t even judge the candidates in a hot tub full of Jell-O, did you? Of course not. Dammit, does no one believe in science anymore? What a sad say of affairs. I blame video games. NOTE:Added a photo montage of Jessica Simpson’s breasts over the past year along with her video for “These Boots Are Made for Walking” after the jump. You know, the one where she washes the General Lee in a bikini in the greatest act of patriotism since the time I threw an American flag at a French Fry this morning.

Via [Thesuperficial]

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Paul Sculfor is back! The model who dated Jennifer Aniston last year was spotted dancing and flirting this past weekend with another Hollywood star: Cameron Diaz! “They looked really flirty,” says a source of the pair’s dinner at Santa Monica’s Il Ristorante di Giorgio Baldi on Sunday night. “She was laughing really loud at all his jokes. It […]

Paul Sculfor is back!

The model who dated Jennifer Aniston last year was spotted dancing and flirting this past weekend with another Hollywood star: Cameron Diaz!

“They looked really flirty,” says a source of the pair’s dinner at Santa Monica’s Il Ristorante di Giorgio Baldi on Sunday night.

“She was laughing really loud at all his jokes. It looked like a date.”

Cameron Diaz laughing out loud? That confirms they’re a couple right there. Or at least boinking. No way Paul Sculfor is actually that funny.

After two hours, Cameron Diaz and her man left the restaurant together. Though Paul Sculfor tried to open her door, his chivalrous move was foiled when they were approached by a waiting celebrity gossip photographer.

“Paul tried but Cameron was rushing him to leave since she didn’t want to be photographed together,” says the source.

Only two nights before, Diaz was spotted dirty dancing with pal Sean “Diddy” Combs at a party celebrating Prince’s new book 21 Nights.

A few hours and a couple of Grey Goose cocktails later, the sexy couple was seen with their arms locked around one another during Prince’s rendition of the Doobie Brothers’ “Long Train Running.” Scandalous!

They left the party together shortly before 3 a.m.

Hey, Diaz is comfortable with keeping her options open. And so long as John Mayer is crossed off the list, we’re all for it!

Via [thehollywoodgossip]

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