Merry Christmas to all from The Hollywood Gossip. We wish you the most joyous of holidays, and hope that all of your hopes and dreams are soon realized.

What did you get for Christmas? Was it all that you hoped for?

We certainly hope so. On a similar note, our interns recently checked with Santa and asked the large guy himself what certain celebrities wanted this year.

The rotund one’s list may surprise you …

Miley Cyrus: A stripper pole in her bedroom.

Amy Winehouse: To see Christmas 2010.

Jessica Simpson: A new set of candles.

Tiger Woods: A mulligan… or 15.

Adam Lambert: Eye shadow.

Mischa Barton: Protein.

Sarah Palin: A new visor.

Pamela Anderson: A bra.

Kate Gosselin: A new man to degrade.

Justin-Bobby: A bar of Irish Spring.

HO, HO, HO! (Sorry, that’s our entire joke)

Lindsay Lohan: Some pants. And/or morals.

Lil Wayne: Condoms and cigarettes.

Robsten: Privacy.

Paula Abdul: Fewer drugs.

Jake Pavelka: Everlasting fame love on reality TV.

Michael Jackson: None, thanks to you, Dr. Conrad Murray.

Lady Gaga: More ridiculous fashion; Fewer hermaphrodite rumors.

Kim Kardashian: An engagement ring; A red carpet in her bedroom; For certain gossip websites to cease mentioning how hard she took it from Ray J on video …

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag: A Santa-themed bikini pic shoot on the beach in Malibu, after Pacific Coast News just occurred to run into them there.

Britney Spears: Freeeeeeeeeeedom!!!!!

Brad Pitt: Another baby.

Angelina Jolie: The slow, painful death of Jennifer Aniston.

Via [thehollywoodgossip]

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Amy Winehouse was formally charged with assault earlier this day in connection with the recent brouhaha she started at a local theater. Anyone surprised?

The 26-going-on-56-year-old soul diva was arrested after she turned herself in at a police station with her lawyer, a Thames Valley Police official said.

She was charged with a public order offense and common assault under the name Amy Civil, following her Saturday melee at Milton Keynes Theater.

Winehouse was granted a divorce from her husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, in July, and is therefore not technically named Amy Civil … if she ever was.

Anyway …

One never knows what to anticipate from this nut job.

She’s free on bail and must appear in court on January 20. Police did not provide details on the incident, but British media have had a field day with it.

The Sun reported that the singer allegedly heckled the cast, struggled with a member of the staff, bled on some actors and attacked the manager.

Winehouse is no stranger to roughhousing. She acquitted earlier this year of assaulting a fan who asked for a picture (aptly-named Sherene Flash).

A judge stated he could not be sure if she lashed out at the woman deliberately, though police stated Amy Winehouse was drunk when she punched her.

Who’s next? We’ll find out soon enough.

Via [thehollywoodgossip]

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Amy Winehouse flailed her fake breasts around some more last night making this the first documented case where a woman’s augmented chest failed to distract me from her face. On that note, if you heard what sounded like two… …read full story

Via [Thesuperficial]

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Here’s a newly augmented Amy Winehouse at The 2009 Q Awards in London this day and I nearly didn’t recognize her. Mostly because I expected her to be covered in dead cats and chewing on power lines by this point…. …read full story

Via [Thesuperficial]

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Below, our staff takes a look back at some of the defining moments of the past week in celebrity gossip, which was the most exciting since … well, probably last week.

It’s THG’s Week in Review!

Some of the highlights were:

• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom actually got married. Seriously. We were sure it was all a ratings-generating sham, but there are wedding photos.
• Miley Cyrus scores a cameo in the Sex and the City sequel. And Twitters about being in pain. And dances on stage as if she adores taking it from behind.
• A David Letterman extortion plot was revealed after the talk show host admitted on air that he was being targeted for a past affair with a staff member.
• The woman in question? Stephanie Birkitt, a former Late Show staffer who began working with Dave in the late 1990s (their relationship ended in 2003).
• Dave also may have dated Holly Hester.
• The alleged culprit? Robert Halderman (pictured), a CBS producer who arraigned in a Manhattan court and pleaded not guilty after his arrest Thursday.

Robert Halderman is accused of blackmailing David Letterman.

• Britney Spears releases her latest sex-themed single, “3.”
• Amy Winehouse rapped. It’s even freakier than it sounds.
• The Hills is back. It is everything we thought it could be.
• We was already there with fans, but Adam Lambert hit #1.
• Jon and Elizabeth Edwards might be headed for a divorce.
• Obligatory Jon and Kate Gosselin news: The douchebag was allegedly fired, and the show renamed Kate Plus 8. He then said he was going to quit the show anyway and pretended to care about his eight children.
• Kate slammed this as just another PR stunt. Sigh. As Jon’s new soul mate Hailey Glassman eloquently put it on her Twitter page, Jon and Kate drama has “taken over the entire world.” For superior or for worse.

Don’t forget to follow THG on Twitter for all of the latest Hollywood news, celebrity gossip, rumors, commentary and humor as it happens, 24/7/365.

Via [thehollywoodgossip]

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Former singer and current train wreck Amy Winehouse appeared in front of a judge in London and showed him her pink ballet shoes in an effort to show that at a petite 5′2″ she couldn’t have possibly punched a fan accusing her of doing so.

“I’m probably 5 feet 2 inches to 3 inches tall,” she stated before rearranging her 8-inch black beehive hair and adding: “But my hair does make a difference.”

In one of her most bizarre public performances to date (and that’s saying something), the Grammy-winning singer insisted she hadn’t attacked Sherene Flash right after being asked to pose for a photograph at a charity summer ball.

Instead, Amy Winehouse, 25, claimed Sherene Flash, who is 5′7″ and was wearing high-heeled boots, was drunk and being rude as she towered over her.

“Miss Flash came over and put her arm around me. She lent down. She’s taller than me. I had flat shoes on,” she stated. “I had shoes on like this. In fact these are the very shoes I had on that night. Look, they don’t even have a heel.”

Amy Winehouse’s tattoo of Blake Fielder-Civil’s name is still visible. This is why you don’t tattoo your drugged-up future ex-husband’s name on your breast, kids.

The prosecution claims she acted with “deliberate and unjustifiable violence” towards Flash, a dancer who, like Winehouse, had performed at the Princes Trust charity ball in Berkeley Square, Mayfair, in Central London, last September.

Other dancers told Westminster Magistrates’ Court how Winehouse appeared to be either drunk or high on drugs during the altercation in a dressing room.

Wow, now that would have been a first.

Miss Flash said that after her performance she had been “tipsy” on champagne and had used the time to “network” or to take various celebrity photos.

This is Winehouse’s first trip off the island of St. Lucia in … well, that we can even remember. Her “vacation” has spanned late 2008 and all of this year.

Click to enlarge more Amy Winehouse pics from today:

[Photos: Fame Pictures]

Via [thehollywoodgossip]

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Enjoying her time on the beach of St. Lucia, Amy Winehouse was soaking up the sun in a bikini top and denim shorts. But the singer has the staff members at the resort very nervous.

The Rehab singer has been drinking so much on the Caribbean island that staff had to ban her from using their pool because they afraid that she may drown.

An insider says, “She is regularly drinking large quantities of wine and rum and no one in her condition should be going anywhere near water.”

“There are concerns that one night she won’t be able to get out of the water and something tragic will happen.”

And they have good reasons to ban her after finding her in some dreadful conditions. “Staff have found Amy on a number of occasions collapsed on the grass by the pool after going for a swim.”

Via [Gossipgirls]

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While Amy Winehouse is busy boozing and recording on permanent vacation in St. Lucia, her publishers have found a way to keep milking the cash cow. Are you ready for this? Amy’s now famously ironic lyrics will be printed on gift wrap and greeting cards, setting a new standard in tackiness. According to a source, “The first […]

While Amy Winehouse is busy boozing and recording on permanent vacation in St. Lucia, her publishers have found a way to keep milking the cash cow.

Are you ready for this?

Amy’s now famously ironic lyrics will be printed on gift wrap and greeting cards, setting a new standard in tackiness. According to a source, “The first item in the Winehouse range will be wrapping paper with the chorus of Rehab emblazoned all over it.” Make sure to use that when you wrap up a six pack.

What will they come up with next!

[Image via WENN.]

Via [Perezhilton.com]

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Still living the island life, Amy Winehouse popped out for a seaside stroll in St Lucia on Tuesday (June 16).

And though she seems to be doing superior than when living in London, the Grammy-winning singer’s mom, Janis, is still worried sick about her daughter.

“The need to rescue her is enormous,” Mrs Winehouse stated. “I just want her to be okay and I would do whatever it took to make that right.”

The “Rehab” crooner’s mother adds, “Amy is in denial all the time. She probably feels trapped, her body is trapping her. But I know with addiction you don’t have the choice because the substance itself directs you. I want to state to her - ‘Amy, what are you doing? Don’t you know what you’re doing?’ But she by then has got herself on to it to help her get through, and I understand that.”

Via [Gossipgirls]

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Pete Doherty has not been heard from in ages.

Fittingly, the supposed rocker and one-time celebrity gossip site regular has returned to prominence by taking part in the two things he does best:

• Taking drugs.
• Getting arrested.

The former boyfriend of Kate Moss was arrested in Switzerland this weekend after being accused of taking drugs on a British Airways flight.

Peter Doherty was detained on arrival in Geneva after cabin staff found him slumped in a toilet on board. He was escorted back to his seat (in economy class, talk about a sign of the times) where he was apparently intoxicated.

A member of the cabin crew found a hypodermic needle in the toilet and the pilot called police to meet the plane when it arrived in Switzerland.

A passenger told the UK’s Sunday Mail: “A few people on the plane recognized Pete, who went to the loo more than halfway into the flight. He had been in there about 25 minutes when the announcement came for the crew to prepare for landing.”

“The crew knocked on the door but Pete didn’t come out.”

“They eventually managed to get in there about 10 minutes before we landed. Pete was taken back to his seat and he just looked absolutely out of it. One of the crew took a needle out of the toilet wrapped in a tissue.”

He was fined but allowed to play his gig before returning to London.

We suggest that the authorities order Pete to go into exile along with Amy Winehouse in St. Lucia for maximum entertainment value.

Via [thehollywoodgossip]

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