In an unexpected Friday surprise, I got a hold of some Beyonce Knowles bikini pics. I gotta admit though, they’re a tad anticlimactic considering she usually errs on the side of smokin’ hot. It’s like unwrapping a Wii on Christmas morning, but inside the box isn’t Beyonce’s butt. Curse you, Claus!

Via [Thesuperficial]

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Adnan Ghalib is changing his tune about the existence of a Britney Spears sex tape. He issued the following denial to Star yesterday:

“There is no sex tape,” Adnan tells Star exclusively, “and I’ve never claimed there’s one.”
“I don’t know where these quotes I’m supposed to have said have come from,” says Adnan. “What I do know is they certainly didn’t come from me and they’re completely false. I’m extremely upset and distressed and I’m taking legal action… This story has caused a lot of injured to my family and people close to me.”
“There is no sex tape,” he continues. “That is the end of the matter.”

However, The Sun reports Adnan was close to a multi-million dollar deal with a porn site until Britney’s lawyers stepped in with their own offer to close him up:

But now she’s staged a remarkable comeback, Britney is willing to part with as much of her own money as it takes to keep the tape off the market and the focus on her upcoming world tour.
A pal told a newspaper: “Her lawyers have been working overtime. They’ve been told to do whatever it takes to stop the video making it onto the World wide web.”

It’s looking like Britney’s sex tape will never see the light of day which isn’t exactly a bad thing. I mean, c’mon, it’s not care about it was filmed now when she looks awesome. It was filmed during the crazy, five Frappucinos a day, pink wig-wearing times of yore. Honestly, who would watch that? Besides me and anyone else with a penis.

Via [Thesuperficial]

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In this “parody” video, Jessica Alba continues her self-righteous quest to encourage people who think The Hills is real to vote. It also features a muzzled Hayden Panettiere which, I’ll admit, nearly made me feel like I was falling in love again for the very first time. Until I remembered celebrity political ads are the equivalent of Michael J. Fox performing a vasectomy: They both end with your brain getting stabbed by someone famous. Via [Thesuperficial]

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Here are shots of Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson’s third day in Mexico. All I’m saying is, would it kill them to go to a nude beach for a change? And by them I mean just Lindsay. Sam can go to the beekeeper’s outfit beach. Or, I dunno, stab a bunch of guys in the crotch with a swordfish. Whatever it is lesbians like to do for fun at the shore. Go nuts.

Via [Thesuperficial]

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I don’t know how to state this, so I’m just going to come right out with it: I’m no longer harboring a secret crush towards you. I’m sorry if I’ve just shattered your world as you know it. Really I am. And if it makes you feel any better, it’s not you (Or your terrible acting on this season’s Heroes.) You’ve done nothing wrong (Except, again, the acting.) It’s me. I’ve changed. And, while we’re being honest, I think you should know there’s someone else. It’s Mila Kunis. I mean, have you seen her lately? Who knew she had cleavage? That’s like finding out there’s two Christmases, and one of them has boobs. On the other hand, there’s you, sweet Hayden and, well, let’s be frank: Nobody knows what’s going on there (I’ve talked to physicians.). For a while I was convinced you had breasts, but it’s time to admit I was only fooling myself. A lot. Like at least once a day if not twice. And sometimes - you know what? I’m getting off track. I hope things don’t get weird between us. If you ever wear a bikini or flash some beave, I want you to know, I’ll still write a post about it. That’s what friends do. But I’m afraid this is our last goodbye. Feel free to let yourself out. Or walk through the doggy door one final time before I nail it shut. Which, I hope you’ll agree, is for the ideal. Goodbye, my love. Goodbye. - - Is she gone? I can never tell. JESUS CHRIST! She was behind a shoe. I mean, hey there, beautiful princess…

Via [Thesuperficial]

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I hadn’t even considered people might want to listen to Jack White and Alicia Keys’ new Bond theme as a recreational activity outside of the film, but presumably that’s the pitch with this music video for their song, Another Way to Die. Surprisingly, I didn’t mind it this time, or at least not until it went on for an additional two minutes after I wanted it to cease. But I do like how Jack White is getting one of those weird mom hairstyles that aging former-hair band members always get. It says “I’m a rocker, but I’m also chic. And a mom.” Video past the cut. Continue Reading “‘Another Way to Die’: This Bond Music Video” Via [Thesuperficial]

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Anne Hathway stopped by Letterman last night to promote her new film Rachel Getting Married, and the conversation swiftly moved to her relationship with convicted con-man Raffaello Follieri. Unlike Paris Hilton, Anne didn’t pout like a spoiled brat, and took the grilling pretty well. Even when she looked to Paul Shaffer for support who asked if Raffaello ever walked up to her dressed like the Pope. C’mon, Paul, everyone knows the answer to that: Only when he needed her social security number. Video after the jump.

Via [Thesuperficial]

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Jennifer Aniston continues her vacation in Los Cabos, Mexico, and she should probably start posing for the paparazzi because, damn, are they getting some unflattering shots. It’s almost as if the majority of Jennifer’s body is defying age except her stomach. Which obviously gave up and stated “Hey, I wanna look like your grandpa.” NOTE: Jennifer Aniston absolutely making my words a moot point here, and I’m pretty sure that’s the entrance to Narnia.

Via [Thesuperficial]

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Apparently, I wasn’t joking when I said it’s “British Chicks in Lingerie Week.” Who knew? Anyway, here to round off the week are Page 3 Girls Rhian Sugden and Rosie Jones launching the Ann Summers store in Liverpool. If you’re wondering who is who, get the hell off my site. Ha! I’m kidding - about the leaving. I seriously have no clue what their names are, so, yeah, I’ll take that Pulitzer now.

Via [Thesuperficial]

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Shia LaBeouf won’t be charged with DUI after a car accident in July that severely damaged his hand. Even though it was later determined the other driver ran a red light, Shia refused a breathalyzer test at the scene which could cost him his license for up to nine months. The Associated Press reports:

There was “insufficient evidence” to charge LaBeouf with drunken driving, Los Angeles County District Attorney spokeswoman Jane Robison stated Thursday. She stated prosecutors are mulling charges against two other people involved in the July collision, but couldn’t provide further details.
“Shia is most happy that he will not have to go to court,” said his attorney, Michael Norris.

It’s official: The California Legal System adores Transformers. And, really, who doesn’t? It has cars that turn into robots AND Megan Fox’s navel. I’d let somebody recklessly drive around drunk for that. Then again, I’ve a drinking problem and the attention span of a caffeinated two-year-old. What was I speaking about? Hey, look, I tied my own shoes!

Via [Thesuperficial]

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