Credit goes to People magazine for this terrific collection of celebrity quotes from the past week. As you can see, many topics are covered … “Angelina Jolie couldn’t be here - it’s hard to find 17 babysitters on Oscar night.” - Host Jon Stewart “Clothes!” - Johnny Depp, on what he was wearing to the Oscars “It’s fun trying to […]

Credit goes to People magazine for this terrific collection of celebrity quotes from the past week. As you can see, many topics are covered …

“Angelina Jolie couldn’t be here - it’s hard to find 17 babysitters on Oscar night.”
- Host Jon Stewart

“Clothes!”
- Johnny Depp, on what he was wearing to the Oscars

“It’s fun trying to get pregnant.”
- Gwen Stefani

“I don’t know a lot about balls.”
- Ellen DeGeneres, to Heidi Klum, during a cooking segment on her show

Like Zac Efron, neither of these couples is actually gay… or are they?

“You had to be painting toes and blow-drying hair.”
- Ben Affleck, on teaming up with Jimmy Kimmel to spoof Sarah Silverman’s video with Matt Damon

“You know when you go around to your aunty’s and the little chihuahua gets on your leg because they think it’s something else? That’s my relationship with Ryan. It’s like: Off!”
- Simon Cowell, on how he gets along with American Idol co-star (and celebrity gossip presidential primary candidate / partner) Ryan Seacrest

“My cheeks hurt, I’m so happy.”
- Drew Barrymore, on beau Justin Long

“I like Barack. He’s like a great boyfriend. He’s a great talker. You wake up the next morning and you go: ‘I don’t know how I took my clothes off.’”
- Sherri Shepherd, on Barack Obama

“It’s double the love, and it’s also double the crying and the screaming.”
- Diddy, father of twins, giving advice to Jennifer Lopez

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Two mins in you get a star studded video w/ Ben Affleck and Brad Pitt, Harrison Ford, Cameron Diaz, Joan Jett, Macy Gray, Robin Williams, Don Cheadle, Pete Wentz, Perry Farrell, Benji and Joel Madden, Lance Bass, Huey Lewis, Josh Groban, McLovin, Christina Applegate, Rebecca Romijn, and Dominic Monaghan, and Meatloaf and probably a few more.

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By now, everyone knows that Sarah Silverman is f@cking Matt Damon. The girlfriend of talk show host Jimmy Kimmel made this information public via an hilarious, taunting music video. Last night, however, we learned of a new twist in the saga: Kimmel is getting it on with Damon’s best friend, Ben Affleck. Among the celebrities that take […]

By now, everyone knows that Sarah Silverman is f@cking Matt Damon. The girlfriend of talk show host Jimmy Kimmel made this information public via an hilarious, taunting music video.

Last night, however, we learned of a new twist in the saga: Kimmel is getting it on with Damon’s best friend, Ben Affleck.

Among the celebrities that take part in the following video, touting this new relationship, are: Harrison Ford, Cameron Diaz, Don Cheadle, Robin Williams, Rebecca Romijn, Macy Gray, Pete Wentz, Josh Groban and Christina Applegate..

Brad Pitt even delivers a special congratulatory cake. Check it all out now:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIQrBouWRiE

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Jennifer Lopez is concerned that a plot may be afoot to kidnap her newborn twins. Her husband Marc Anthony made sure security is tight at North Shore University Hospital, according to Life & Style :

The hospital reportedly stepped up its security drills, which involve locking down the hospital in case a baby is kidnapped or otherwise vanishes. They practiced the alerts twice a week in early February, says a staffer. That definitely had to do with J.Lo.
Babies have been kidnapped before, a friend notes. Jennifer had obvious concerns about security.

Who would want to steal J-Lo’s offspring? Either the government for some crazy X-Files shit. Or Ben Affleck. Yeah, that’s right, I said it: Ben motherfucking Affleck. He might look all innocent but that guy has baby-stealer written all over him. I saw Daredevil . He’s capable of some seriously messed up stuff. I’m blowing this case wide open! UPDATE : Jennifer Garner just kicked down my cubicle and continually karate chopped me in the groin. I retract my comments about Ben Affleck. Also - no, I can’t say it. Don’t make me! *nad chop* Okay! Daredevil should’ve won an Oscar! Are you happy? Oh, God, I feel so dirty. I’ll never get over this. I - Ooh! Who brought donuts?

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