Merry Christmas to all from The Hollywood Gossip. We wish you the most joyous of holidays, and hope that all of your hopes and dreams are soon realized.
What did you get for Christmas? Was it all that you hoped for?
We certainly hope so. On a similar note, our interns recently checked with Santa and asked the large guy himself what certain celebrities wanted this year.
The rotund one’s list may surprise you …
Miley Cyrus: A stripper pole in her bedroom.
Amy Winehouse: To see Christmas 2010.
Jessica Simpson: A new set of candles.
Tiger Woods: A mulligan… or 15.
Adam Lambert: Eye shadow.
Mischa Barton: Protein.
Sarah Palin: A new visor.
Pamela Anderson: A bra.
Kate Gosselin: A new man to degrade.
Justin-Bobby: A bar of Irish Spring.
HO, HO, HO! (Sorry, that’s our entire joke)
Lindsay Lohan: Some pants. And/or morals.
Lil Wayne: Condoms and cigarettes.
Robsten: Privacy.
Paula Abdul: Fewer drugs.
Jake Pavelka: Everlasting fame love on reality TV.
Michael Jackson: None, thanks to you, Dr. Conrad Murray.
Lady Gaga: More ridiculous fashion; Fewer hermaphrodite rumors.
Kim Kardashian: An engagement ring; A red carpet in her bedroom; For certain gossip websites to cease mentioning how hard she took it from Ray J on video …
Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag: A Santa-themed bikini pic shoot on the beach in Malibu, after Pacific Coast News just occurred to run into them there.
Britney Spears: Freeeeeeeeeeedom!!!!!
Brad Pitt: Another baby.
Angelina Jolie: The slow, painful death of Jennifer Aniston.